A writing initiative on Instagram #mayonthemove2022

PROMPT: PASSPORT
posted by @overloadedsteph on Instagram on May 3, 2022

I’m the guardian of our family’s passports. Always know where they are, always know when they’re about to expire, and how to get them renewed, and where. Trekking to embassies, sending off photos, copies of birth certificates, marriage certificates, de-registration forms (yes Germany, I see you), you name it, I know it, even though I only own one out of the 9 passports that live in our household.

Passports used to be much less of a headache, when Britain was still part of the EU, and all we had for the US were Green Cards, but these days, it’s not so straightforward.

We do not have a shared passport, i.e. a nationality all 4 of us can claim.

Our kids have 3 each (the lucky sods), but should global apocalypse occur and we had to pick a country where we could all be together, they’d have to choose between mum or dad. We got glimpses of this scenario during the pandemic, when entry to certain countries was made more difficult or even impossible for at least one of us.

So why don’t I apply for another citizenship (since I’m the one who has only one passport)? Well, while my German passport is probably one of the most coveted and uncomplicated documents you can have, Germany doesn’t make it that easy to hold dual citizenship. I’m hoping this will change in the not too far away future, but as of now, I need to apply for a Beibehaltungsgenehmigung first, before I can even hint at applying for another passport. It’s basically a permit to maintain German citizenship status while acquiring a new one. This is costly, takes a long time, requires very skilled persuasive essay writing, and could ultimately be rejected (I know people who’ve experienced this despite having very valid reasons to hold two). I just haven’t found the spare energy to do this yet.

Come on Germany, get a move on!!

UPDATE May 2024: Germany changed the law, and I can finally apply for my US citizenship.

PROMPT: EASE
posted by @overloadedsteph on Instagram on May 9, 2022

A tough one! I’m a naturally uneasy person, and I had to think hard for this prompt.

To my utter surprise, what popped into my head was how much at ease I feel getting into a new car and driving off. Who knew??

Having lived in various countries, and owned, leased and driven 25+ cars, I don’t bat an eyelid anymore when I get to a new place. Right hand side, left hand side, manual, automatic, electric, you name it I’ve done it.

I’ve driven through cities (not my favourite driving environment, I admit) and for long hours on road trips (US beats Europe). I feel free and at ease when I’m driving. I prefer driving to flying.

Jersey traffic (notoriously bonkers and aggressive) does sometimes scare me, but only for a second, and then I just shrug it off. Sometimes I get road rage. I also quite enjoy the honking I’m allowed to do here without people getting offended.

PROMPT: DELIGHTFUL DISCOVERIES
posted by @overloadedsteph on Instagram on May 13, 2022

I’ve been practicing yoga for over 20 years now; it’s been a constant companion in my life, from a great workout and de-stressor during my city work years in London (hello sweaty ashtanga), throughout my pregnancies, and a great way to make connections in every place I’ve lived in. Finding a yoga studio has always been one of the first things to sort out in a new town.

I’m pretty sure yoga has saved my sanity on multiple occasions.

Due to moving, lack of practice and chronic neck and shoulder pain in recent months, I haven’t practiced a headstand for a while.

This morning, I desperately needed an inversion. I had a real urge to be upside down (those into yoga know how crazy powerful an inversion can be to shift your mindset). I positioned my mat near the wall (just in case), fully expecting to fall or not even get my legs up, took a deep breath, and — oh delightful discovery — up I went. My body knew exactly what to do, and I didn’t even need the wall. I stayed up for a few breaths, enjoyed the sensation, gently put my legs back down and smiled to myself. Something had definitely shifted. To discover I could still do something for myself that I didn’t expect to be able to made my day.

If you’re in need of a mindset change, or simply want to look at things from a different angle, try to go upside down.

Picture one was taken on a beach in my happy place, Santa Cruz, CA, almost ten years ago (yes I’m in awe of that flat stomach too). It is a reminder of happy times. I very much hope I can feel that way about picture two, maybe in ten years’ time!

PROMPT: THRESHOLDS
posted by @overloadedsteph on Instagram on May 16, 2022

As expats, we probably cross a lot more thresholds than other people, figuratively and literally. But I’m not going to talk about those thresholds.
The country I’ve lived in for the last 12 years is on the threshold of regressing to a time we all thought we’d left behind. The US Supreme Court (which consists mostly of old white men but also, even harder to grasp, women!) is set to reverse Roe & Wade, essentially dismantling any progress made for people’s reproductive rights, and ultimately destroying lives. A return to the Middle Ages. My disenchantment with this (on so many levels amazing) country is growing stronger every day.

But before I remembered to post this last night, I crossed another threshold. Let’s call it the “tequila threshold”. I was craving a margarita and some tacos, resenting having left Texas and the accessibility of amazing Mexican food.
We decided to give a local Mexican a go, and I didn’t expect the house margarita to be the size of my head….

Some thresholds are more painful than others.

PROMPT: PLAY!
posted by @overloadedsteph on Instagram on May 17, 2022

The first thing I thought when I read the word “play” was that right now, playing only happens with my pets. Having recently moved and not really having met new playmates yet (my teenager has long stopped being one), play these days invariably involves my three fur babies. They never let me down.

But then I got a bit sad, because I realized that it’s been a long time since I actually played, felt playful, let my hair down, with ACTUAL HUMANS.

I’m not a natural player, in fact I have a very hard time enjoying board games (mainly because I struggle with instructions), card games bore me to death, and I’m terrified of team sports. But feeling silly, playful and lighthearted surrounded by friends, laughing and not taking things so seriously? Sign me up.

And in the meantime, I just have to play in other ways. I love writing, which is basically playing with words, I love putting on pretty clothes, playing dress up, and I love playing with accents (Promise: I will never try the New Jersey one).

I wish I could play an instrument.

PROMPT: WHAT I CARRY
posted by @overloadedsteph on Instagram on May 19, 2022

I carry a giant bag. I’ve carried it for so long, it has left grooves in my shoulder, and has become part of my body. It is filled with amazing stories and memories of the places I’ve lived in. Diving deep into the nooks and crannies of every single place I’ve called home, absorbing every detail, I can now close my eyes at any point and pull a vibrant memory from my giant bag.

Sometimes I have to rummage for a while to find what I’m looking for, sometimes it sits right there at the top, and sometimes I’m reluctant to pull it out, for fear it might be too painful and make me miss a place too much for my heart to bear. Sometimes I like to pull something out and my heart bursts with joy at the sight of it.
I also carry stuff for other people in my bag, and I’m always happy to do so, but sometimes I have to get rid of some of that extra stuff because my bag digs into my shoulder too much. Sometimes the things I carry in my bag make others laugh, and I’m happy to share.

My bag is very heavy, and some days I struggle to carry it on my own. But other days, I can just sling it over my shoulder and it bounces lightly along with my skipping steps.

Sometimes people comment on how colourful and unique it is and how it really suits me. You see, I’ve decorated my bag so it looks really pretty, and some days I feel like showing it off. And other days I wish people could see how heavy the bag can get, and how dark inside, even if they don’t see me struggle to lift it.

PROMPT: ROLES
posted by @overloadedsteph on Instagram on May 25, 2022

Isn’t life just a succession of roles we have to play?
Sometimes we can easily slip into them, sometimes it’s a struggle and we realize it doesn’t work, and move on to the next one.

My favourite role at the moment is being a pet parent, mainly because it is an easy one, a role where I can actually be fully myself. No expectations other than providing food, cuddles and shelter, and I get countless snuggles, have company when I need it (oh, how they know when they’re needed), and they make me laugh and smile so much.

In these pictures, they all want something from me, hence the somewhat petulant expressions.

What I love the most is that I don’t have to send them to school and feel terrified they’ll get shot.

PROMPT: CULTURAL TIES & RITUALS/ROUTINES
posted by @overloadedsteph on Instagram on May 27, 2022

Am I cheating when I combine these two prompts? Not really, since in my mind, they are invariably linked! So many rituals and routines are born from my home country’s culture, but I’ve added more to that and I make a conscious effort to incorporate them into my daily routines.

When I wake up, the first thing I have is a cup of tea. It is the first of many, although I will never keep up with the amount my English husband consumes. I love tea and like the good English girl that I am at heart, will always resort to drinking tea in moments of crisis, when I’m stuck with something, when I’m waiting for something, and so on. You’re very likely to be offered a cuppa when you come to visit my house, regardless of the time of day.

While walking my dog each day (another routine) I like to listen to a podcast or audiobook, and usually choose something German. I love listening to the sounds and quirks of my mother tongue and keeping up with current German culture and politics (for podcast tips, refer to my website!).

I have a mini Bavarian flag that sits at the corner of my desk and makes me smile. I am fiercely proud of where I’m from. Those are my strongest ties. My hometown is celebrating its 900th anniversary this year, and I can’t wait to visit and hopefully see some of the celebrations.

I love Thanksgiving. Christmas still feels bigger as a holiday to be celebrated with family, but Thanksgiving has inched its way up there. I intend to celebrate it for the rest of my life.

Having lived in various parts of the world, I’m building new cultural ties every day, and adding them to my daily routines help strengthen my sense of belonging.

It’s like weaving a giant tapestry, with strands from different materials. All of them put together create a very strong, durable and weather-proof thing of beauty!

PROMPT: PERSPECTIVE
posted by @overloadedsteph on Instagram on June 2, 2022

Perspective is such a fluid thing. I experienced the most profound change of perspective when I moved abroad and started to look at my birth country with the eyes of an outsider. Not only has it broadened my horizon but it taught me so much about the world and how much we are the masters of our own perspective.

The greatest gift is that I will never look at anything from just one side of the coin.

Sometimes it’s scary how quickly perspective can get stuck, especially when we are in flux, in transition, en route to a new place or country, and we try and counteract change by sticking to one mindset.

When I catch myself doing that, I give myself a little shake, to make this perspective thing all fluid again. Sometimes I do a headstand ;-)

PROMPT: NEW CONNECTIONS
posted by @overloadedsteph on Instagram on June 14, 2022

So finally, finally, I’m getting around to wrapping up #mayonthemove2022! I’m proud to say I’ve worked on every single prompt, even this last one is arriving a bit late to the party.

New connections…. The first thing that comes to mind is people. The second, places. It’s all connected, of course. Places and people.
 The problem is that while I’ve been wanting to write about new connections (and this last month has given me many!), I’ve been very focused on my old ones, and how rewarding and healing it is to maintain them and feel how alive they can be even when you don’t see each other in person very much. I feel like it’s only when you feel grounded in your established connections can you reach out and make new ones.

Making new connections is tough for introverts like myself, and sometimes I don’t feel that I have the energy to reach out. Because that’s what you need to do a lot as an expat: Being proactive, approaching people, taking the first step towards another person. Not an easy thing to do!

But when I look at the many lovely people I’ve connected with in various countries over the years, I feel so grateful. And somewhat even in awe of myself!