I was talking to a friend in the UK the other day, also an expat, and of course we talked about the inauguration of the new American president and his cronies, because let’s face it, they’re all in power, it’s not just him. 

We talked about the clip that’s gone viral of Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde’s sermon, in which she asks Trump to have mercy, essentially confronting him on his policies about immigration and transgender rights. I’m sure you’ve seen it by now. We were both saying how powerful this was and how beautifully calm she was while she was addressing him, so firm and yet not aggressive at all. Of course, he didn’t like it one bit – you could see how uncomfortable he was on his face, and you could see it on the VP’s face too – and of course responded in his usual nasty manner.

I feel strongly that that’s what we need to keep doing; we need to keep calling them out on their bullshit. She set such a great example of how we need to behave in the face of all this, calm and confident and standing by what we feel is right for us as humans. We need to stand by our humanity and build a strong and inclusive community for people to feel safe.

I was also thinking that we, as expats, have a big role to play in this. And maybe even more so, our children, the ones who have grown up in different countries with different societies and constantly changing different parameters around them. I talk about this a lot in my podcast, how moving to another country and spending time in a different place to the one you grew up in helps you build a more open, tolerant and empathetic mindset, and those are the values that we need, especially now. 

We and our children are predestined to lead by example. I absolutely do not want this to sound like I think we’re better people, but what we have is first-hand knowledge of what it’s like to be the new kid, to stand out, to be different, what it’s like to have to learn a new language, and to leave everything behind, often a place and people you absolutely loved. We have all experienced some form of discrimination, of not feeling welcome. 

We know what all that does to a person, and I get the impression that none of those so-called leaders has any idea of what it’s like and what’s worse, they don’t even show any inclination to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.

It makes my blood boil to see those smug faces and the blatant lack of empathy and humanity.

And then of course, that vile Nazi salute, which caused such a visceral reaction in myself, and I’m sure I’m not the only German to have felt it like that. We all carry the collective memory of our ancestors in our bodies; it’s all still there. I can feel my German great-grandmother screaming deep inside me, “Don’t look away, don’t stand by! It’s happening again!” What we’re seeing is fascism, and it’s happening right there in front of our eyes. 

I don’t understand how anybody can deny this or shrug it off. 

I feel deeply that we, as expats and immigrants, have a huge responsibility here, and probably us white, privileged expats in particular, as we generally face less prejudice and discrimination and have more power. 

Let’s not stand by and just watch and adapt and blend in like we’re used to; it’s too easy. I know we’ve become good at it because when you move, you learn to adapt and accept what’s happening in your new surroundings. 

That’s the message we hear over and over again, not just here in the US, but also in other countries, such as Germany, that first and foremost, immigrants need to adapt and learn to assimilate. That is all well and fair, and yes, when you live in a new country, of course you should try to fit in and adopt the new country’s societal parameters. 

But I think we need to focus on our humanity first, and not on how homogeneous we can all be. Because that is what creates a society that can’t handle differences. If you eliminate all the differences, people think we need to be the same as everybody else, and the minute somebody is different, it’s perceived as non-desirable. That’s where the shaming and blaming and bullying starts. Whether you’re foreign, have an accent, are trans, gay, autistic, or have a physical disability. 

Differences are beautiful. A society that is diverse and colourful and open-minded and holds space for all of its diversity is beautiful and much better equipped to make people feel safe and happy than one that creates division and fear. 

Let’s celebrate our differences. Let’s model inclusivity and compassion and kindness.

Let’s not stay silent.